


Amnesia

by Anonymous



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 21:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: There was only one thing he'd never be able to forget.





	Amnesia

**Author's Note:**

> This is a translation of a fic originally written in Korean, then translated into Japanese by the original author herself. If you can read either of those languages, you can see Rinrin's original work, plus many other fantastic stories at: newtonsapple.postype.com.
> 
> Since this is a double translation, so to speak, there are parts of it that are a bit awkwardly worded, or probably don't quite match the source material, for which I apologise. I hope that you are able to enjoy what I managed to cobble together without a proofreader or editor :)

Kang Daniel had but one fatal flaw; that is to say, his particularly severe amnesiac tendencies.

 

It might seem like an exaggeration, but for one Ong Seongwu, it really was quite the problem. For instance, Daniel was unable to recall a single person’s name (with the exception of his boyfriend Seongwu of course). Whenever he would go over to Seongwu’s place he would often leave something behind — like his wallet, or his keys; a CD, or on one occasion, even his underwear. It was also a common occurrence for Daniel to completely forget about a scheduled date, leaving Seongwu waiting all alone. On top of all that, there had been countless times where Daniel, upon spotting Seongwu walking alongside his younger sister, had sadly told him that the two of them were over. ‘ _If you’ve got a new girlfriend_ ,’ Daniel would say, ‘ _then the least you could do is tell me first_.’ Seongwu had heard those words on multiple occasions.  

Today was more of the same. Once again, here was Daniel, standing out the front of Seongwu’s house with seemingly no memory of what had transpired the day before. As Seongwu came outside to meet him, a smile exploded across Daniel’s face in a manner somewhat reminiscent of popcorn.

 

‘ _Hyung_ , you’re late! I’ve been waiting a while, you know.”

‘Daniel…’

‘Yes?’

‘…what are you doing here?’

‘I came to see you, of course! Just like always.’

 

It became apparent that Daniel really had forgotten their prior conversation; a conversation that had meant to be the last one ever between the two of them. Seongwu found himself laughing in amazement. Was there no limit to Daniel’s forgetfulness? In a way, his amnesia had its advantages — he could just conveniently forget what he didn’t want to remember.

Seongwu held out a old shopping bag, filled with bits and bobs.

 

‘Here.’

‘Hm?’

 

Daniel took the bag and stared fixedly inside. Judging from the way he was blankly rubbing his nose, it would seem that he had still not grasped the reality of the situation.

 

‘What’re these? It looks kind of familiar, but at the same time…’

‘It’s the hat you left at mine, and also your wallet, and also some bread….’

‘Ah, that’s right. Now that you mention it, I think I did leave some things here from last time.’

 

Seongwu felt relief at not having to repeat himself, when suddenly Daniel’s eyes crinkled into the shape of crescent moons, his arms akimbo and pulling Seongwu into an embrace.

 

‘I’m so glad I’ve got you here to look out for me, hyung.’

 

It was his cheeks that brushed up against the bristle of Daniel’s hair, but for some reason Seongwu felt the tickle and swell deep in his chest instead. As he breathed in Daniel’s scent, he could feel himself calm and his mood subside. _No_ , he thought, _at this rate, nothing will change_. Seongwu mustered up all he could, and disentangled himself from Daniel’s arms. _I have to tell him about what happened yesterday._

 

‘Daniel.’

‘Yes?’

‘Listen carefully. Yesterday, the two of us broke up.’

‘….what?’

‘I’ll say it again. We broke up yesterday. Do you remember?’

‘I… don’t.’

‘You’re not doing this on purpose, are you?’

‘I’m telling the truth. I don’t remember a thing.’

 

Daniel blinked, not a single flicker of deception detectable on his honest face. Seongwu brought a hand to his forehead, feeling the onset of a headache.

On several occasions, Seongwu had decided it would be the last time. The last time he’d get stood up for a date, waiting for a phone call or text message that would never come. Or the last time he’d humour Daniel in one of his moods, sulky after having waited for Seongwu on his own accord for outings that hadn’t been planned. Seongwu mused that his presence in Daniel’s life stood lower in rank than the skateboard he always carried underneath his arm. But whenever Seongwu caught sight of how Daniel’s huge frame would hunch over when he was feeling down, he found his conviction dissipating into thin air.

After Seongwu broached the topic of a break-up last night, he found himself crying over a relationship for the first time in his life. He had bundled himself in his covers until his younger sister had had enough, and the sound of her voice, filled with criticism and disdain, still rung clearly in Seongwu’s ears even now. He had not slept a wink, leaving his eyes red and bleary — and yet here was Daniel, erasing all of that away with a simple ‘I don’t remember’. _Happy-go-lucky as ever_. Seongwu felt a mixture of disbelief and vexation before throwing his head back and sighing deeply. He had long since lost the ability to retain his composure in situations like this, but since he was the older, the adult, the _hyung_ — he would do his best to keep his cool while admonishing Daniel.

  

‘Daniel, think carefully. Yesterday, we broke up. Do you really not remember?’

‘Mmm…’

 

Daniel narrowed his eyes and scratched the back of his neck, slowly tilting his head as he thought. _Dammit. It’s no good._ Seongwu, troubled as he was, watched as Daniel’s expression changed, becoming somewhat impish and cheeky. _He’s definitely plotting something,_ he thought. Just as Seongwu’s red alert switch flicked into place, Daniel spun around, his back to Seongwu.

 

‘ _Hyung_ , I might remember if you can chase me down. Catch me if you can!’

  

Daniel hadn’t even finished speaking before he dashed away, Seongwu chasing after him, a few steps behind.

 

‘Hey, come here! Wait, I said!’

 

Daniel was way too athletic for Seongwu to be able to catch. With complete composure, he turned around to flash a smile at Seongwu, who was trying desperately to keep up.

 

‘You’re in trouble now - if you can’t catch me, we’ll have to stay together forever!’

‘But if I do, we’re definitely breaking up!’

‘Oh well, then I guess you’ll be chasing me for the rest of your life…’

 

Daniel’s long legs kicked up the dirt as he ran, his red chequered shirt fluttering in the wind. He was within reach, and yet not. As it was, Seongwu was unable to bring things to a close, that damned amnesia once again preventing him from acting as he wished.

  

*　　　*　　　*

 

After a long chase, Seongwu returned home. He flopped onto the sofa where his sister Ahlee was watching television, immediately grabbing her attention. Her eyes sparkled, a piece of candy partway to her mouth.

  

‘Did _oppa_ properly break it off with that guy?’

‘Can you not call him ‘that guy’, please?’

 

Seongwu punctuated this with a flick to her forehead, prompting a squawk of displeasure from his younger sister. Allee had never liked Daniel to begin with. It had been quite the adjustment to begin with when she had learnt her older brother was dating a boy, but having to repeatedly hear things like ‘ _Who’s this, then?_ ’ and ‘ _Since when do you have a girlfriend?_ ’ from Daniel — well, you could say her dislike was only a matter of course.

 

‘And who was the one complaining about him right until yesterday? I don’t know why you’re defending him all of a sudden.’

‘It’s nothing to do with you, so shut up and go back to your cartoons.’

 

She may be his sister, but that didn’t mean Seongwu was okay with her badmouthing Daniel. _I’m the only one allowed to do that. After all, he belongs to me_. Seongwu felt his skin prickle at the very thought. Ahlee shot him a look of ridicule.

 

‘How ludicrous. Did you finally catch the stupid from that idiot?’

‘Watch your mouth, Ong Ahlee.’

‘And how many times have I told you not to use my full name like you’re telling me off!? What do you even see in him anyway!?’

 

Seongwu found himself pondering over Ahlee’s words. Come to think of it, what was it exactly? His first impression of Daniel was indeed, that of an idiot. There probably wasn’t anyone alive who was dumber. A rare beast of sorts. And yet, before he realised it, the two had became inseparable. Seongwu thought back to their first encounter.

  

*　　　*　　　*

 

It had been during his third year of high school. Seongwu had been on cleaning duty, sweeping down the corridors with a broom. _Sunbae_ , he heard a voice call from behind. Seongwu turned around to be met with the sight of a tall boy with pale-white skin and hair the colour of ash-beige. He had recognised the face – their eyes had met on the several occasions before, as they passed one here and there on the school grounds. And after all; there probably wasn’t a single student who didn’t know about the amnesiac kid with the distinguishable appearance. For some reason, Seongwu felt a tinge of nervousness being stopped by the infamous boy.

 

‘Do you have a moment?’

 

Daniel had been leaning on a window frame, beckoning him over. _Some nerve, calling me over so nonchalantly when_ I’m _the older one here._ Offended as he was, Seongwu rested the broom on a nearby wall and approached the other.

 

‘What is it?’

  

Once the two were close enough, Daniel bent down to whisper in Seongwu’s ear like he was telling him a secret.

   
  
‘ _Sunbae_ , will you go out with me?’

 

For a moment, Seongwu thought he misheard. _Someone as popular as Daniel would have free pick of all the girls at school, so what on earth is he trying to pull with a boy like me?_ The thought of being seen as some plaything to be messed about with pissed him off – but would it really be a preferable situation if Daniel was asking genuinely? Before he knew it, Seongwu’s own inner prankster took control of his body, grinning as he replied.

 

‘Sure.’

‘W-what, really!?’

 

Daniel’s face was full of joy, eyebrows darting up and eyes wide open. Having no real intentions to date the boy at all, Seongwu felt the tiniest bit guilty at what he had just done.

 

‘You have until tomorrow to remember my name. If you can do that, I’ll do whatever you ask me to.’

   
  
At that, Daniel’s mouth fell open and his expression hardened, only to be replaced with one full of determination, his index finger pointing straight up.

 

‘No joke? I’ll keep you to your promise, _sunbae_.’

  

The very next day, Daniel had breezily sauntered up to Seongwu’s classroom at the conclusion of first period. Peering through the doorway, he spotted Seongwu and smiled at him sweetly. _I’ve got a bad feeling about this._ It was only a moment before Daniel began to speak.

 

‘Ong. Seong. Wu.’

 

Even though he knew it was coming, the shock of hearing those words darted through Seongwu’s brain like electricity. But he wasn’t the only one – _hey, did you hear that? Daniel was calling out for Seongwu. Seriously? You’re kidding, right? Forgetful Daniel finally remembered someone’s name? Is the world about to end?_ Paying no attention to the hubbub around him, Daniel caught Seongwu’s eye and winked, a single eyebrow raised.

 

‘Don't go forgetting our promise now!’

 

Seongwu brought both hands to his head, looking up at the heavens. Sorry, mom. Sorry, dad. I’ve got a boyfriend now. And with that, Seongwu wound up together with a pale-skinned, broad shouldered boy, instead of the big-breasted glamour girl that he had always fantasised about.

 

‘How on earth did you manage to remember my name?’

 

That same day, Seongwu had asked Daniel that question as the two walked home after school. Daniel had retorted _, ‘Do you really want to know?_ ’, and the way his face crumpled in laughter had been adorable.

  

‘Of course I do. Everyone knows how forgetful you are.’

‘If you come over to my place, you’ll understand.’

  

Daniel brought Seongwu to his house, and the moment Seongwu stepped inside he felt his breath leave his body. Wall to wall, floor to floor; the interior of the house was covered in paper, upon which Seongwu’s name was written over and over again.

 

‘What, what on earth…’

‘Right until I fell asleep I read your name written on the ceiling and tried my best to remember _sunbae_ ’s name; and in the morning while washing up I looked in the mirror and recited it over and over. Even when people were tried to talk to me, I pretended like they weren’t there, because if they got my all head mixed up and I wound up forgetting, it would all have been for nothing, right?’

 

Daniel laughed, his face free of any worry or doubt. _What a weirdo_. Before Seongwu realised, he found himself laughing too. If Seongwu were to really think about it, that was probably the moment he began to fall in love with Daniel.

  

*　　　*　　　*

 

There had been a few incidents in the three years since they started dating.

One rainy day, Seongwu had left the house to go to the supermarket, only to find Daniel soaking wet, standing in front of the gate. Droplets of water dripped from the ends of his hair, and he was wearing a dark expression the likes of which Seongwu had never seen on Daniel before. Taken aback, Seongwu approached him, and before the words ‘ _What’s wrong?’_ had even escaped his mouth, Daniel captured him in a tight embrace.

 

‘ _Hyung_ , if it’s something I’ve done, please tell me, whatever it is, I’ll make it up to you…’

‘What are you saying? You haven’t done anything wrong.’

‘You haven’t replied to any of my texts… do you really think so little of me?’

 

Words left hanging in the air, Seungwo pulled out his unchecked phone to find several unopened messages. They begun with _‘I’m here now, just waiting for you,’_ before developing into _‘Why aren’t you coming? Is everything okay?’_ and finally finishing with _‘If you want to break up, just tell me – I’m sorry I’m so pathetic’_. It was almost as if Daniel had been dumped. At that point, a thought flitted across Seongwu’s mind. Could there be some sort of misunderstanding?

 

‘Sorry, but I don't think we had plans for toda- Daniel? Hey, Daniel!’

 

Daniel’s arms loosened their hold on Seongwu as his body fell to the ground. Seongwu supported Daniel with his knees, and as his forehead made contact with Daniel’s neck he felt a burning heat.

 

‘A fever… how long have you been waiting here?’

‘ _Hyung_ , please don’t toss me aside…’

‘Like I said, we didn’t make plans for today – are you listening?’

‘I can’t live without you, _hyung_ …’

 

Seongwu’s words were no longer penetrating Daniel’s ears – he could feel nothing but the quiver of his hot breath. That day, Seongwu felt like he experienced for the first time, what it was like to be treasured beyond belief by another.

From that day onwards. Seongwu softened a little more towards Daniel. Whenever they had a fight, and Daniel was backed into a corner, he would wave the events of that day over his head as a last resort. ‘ _But_ hyung _,didn’t you leave me waiting in the rain once, drenched and ready to collape? It’s kind of unfair to be holding this against me after all that, isn’t it?’ ‘Like I told you we didn’t even have plans – you just decided to wait there for no particular reason!’_ But no matter how many times Seongwu said it, Daniel’s recollection of the day didn’t change; his memory was self-serving like that.

For Daniel, there was only one thing in the world he seemed to _always_ remember; that being his beloved skateboard. It was always sandwiched between his arm and body, if not carrying him down the pavement on its wheels; but even so, Seongwu worried that one day he would forget it and lose it.

 

‘Maybe you should attach it to your shoes? Or tie it down somewhere with a string?’

‘Are you making fun of me?’

‘Well, you wouldn’t be happy if you lost it, right? And besides, it’s pretty expensive.’

 

Something had come to mind while Seongwu was watching Daniel clutch his precious skateboard. It wasn’t really something to get mad over; and yet he couldn’t help but feel the heat rise to his face. He thought of all the promises and anniversaries Daniel failed to remember, all the presents he had lost. And a foolish thought – _so do all of these things rank as lower in importance to him than that skateboard?_ Before he realised, Seongwu’s mouth began to move on its own.

 

‘Hey, Daniel.’ 

‘Yeah?’

‘Don’t bother calling me anymore.’

‘….why?’

‘No reason. I just don’t feel like wasting anymore breath on you.’

‘Uh, is this because I’m cuddling my skateboard? Are you jealous or something?’

‘Not just that. I’ve just put up with too much. Let’s end this.’

‘ _Hyung…_!’

  

Daniel began to say something in response, but Seongwu turned away and pretended like he didn’t hear. Seongwu had resolved to end it with Daniel many times in the past, but somehow now that he’d said it out loud, it felt strange. Afterwards, Seongwu had wailed into his pillow. The notion of never being able to see Daniel again left him in tears, crying in bed. The thoughts piled up, leaving him sleepless, and yet Daniel, ever persistent, was able to so easily forget that it all happened.

 

After chasing one another for a bit, the two of them automatically sat down on the grass in a park, as if the two of them, breathless, had made some sort of prior agreement beforehand to do so. It felt like they’d completely lost sight of why they had been running around in the first place. It was then that Seongwu noticed something different about Daniel.

 

‘Where’s your skateboard?’

‘I lost it.’

‘Didn’t I say that thing was expensive?’

‘It’s fine. It’s not as expensive as _hyung_ , anyway.’

 _‘What the hell are you going on about_ ,’ retorted Seongwu, light smack on Daniel’s shoulder. Even as Seongwu looked down, trying to hide his blush, Daniel’s gaze was unwavering.

 

‘I wonder if I should I tie myself to _hyung?’_

‘Seriously, what are you going on about?’

‘Hahaha.’

‘……’

‘I’m joking. Even if I didn’t attach myself to you, I’d never forget you.’

‘You better not forget that you love me either.’

‘Don’t have to worry about that..’

‘You can write it down on paper just like the time you remembered my name.’

‘Like I said, I can remember even without writing it down.’

‘And also… you know… that I love you too…’

‘I get it, I get it. I promise.’

 

That had been the promise the two of them made after their one-day break up and subsequent getting back together. It had only been a month ago – and yet here Daniel was again, waiting for Seongwu in the playground facing his house.

  

\- Daniel.

‘ _Hyung_.’

\- Go home.  
  
‘You’re late.’  
  
\- We didn’t make any plans for today.  
  
‘How cruel. I wait here the whole day and this is the response I get?’ 

\- Don’t wait for me anymore.

‘Did I do something wrong?'

 - You already know. I’m not coming anymore.

 ‘Why don’t we talk about it tomorrow?’

 - Tomorrow’s no good either.

 ‘Okay, how about the day after?’

 - Haven’t we decided not to see each other anymore? Don’t you remember?

 'That’s news to me.’

 - Please remember. I’m begging you.

 ‘I refuse.’

 - You have to remember.

 ‘No. I’ll forget. No matter how many times, no matter what you say to me, I’ll forget, and forget, and forget!’

 - Daniel…

 ‘I don’t want to hear it.’

 - I can’t come here anymore.

 ‘Be quiet.’

 - Because I’m…

 ‘Stop.’

 - I’m dead.

 ‘…….’

 - I’m sorry. You’ve been to trying to keep our promise, but I can’t come anymore, and for that, I’m sorry.

 

His last memory had been of the car striking him at the pedestrian crossing. With the ear-splitting screech of the brake, his body had been sent flying into the air. And as he came slamming down onto the ground, for a moment, he saw the radiant smile of the boy he loved, bringing his consciousness to an end. Seongwu never made it back to Daniel.

And yet, Daniel continued to wait for Seongwu in that playground, just like always. Yesterday, and the day before – without fail for an entire month.

Seongwu visited Daniel every day with the same words. _Don’t wait for me anymore. I can’t be with you._ But no matter how many times he said them, Daniel would forget, and return the next day to continue waiting. 

  
\- Daniel. 

‘Don’t say any more, please.’

\- If you don’t want to remember that I’ve died…

‘…….’

\- Then please, forget me.

‘…….’

\- Forget that we used to meet here, and the memories we made together, our time together. Forget it all.

‘…….’

\- You’re good at forgetting, right?

 

Seongwu reached out to stroke Daniel’s cheek; but the warmth that he remembered, the softness of his skin, he could feel none of it. I have to stop coming back like this. If Daniel was to forget Seongwu, he would have to leave his side.

 

\- Daniel, our promise…

‘…….’

\- I want you to forget your promise, that you'd never forget that you love me.

‘…….’

\- And also that I promised never…

‘…….’

\- Please.

 

Seongwu embraced Daniel, placing a kiss upon his lips _. If only I could touch those lips once more._ That was but the only regret, foolish as it may be, that Seongwu had left in this world. Starting with his fingertips. his now transparent body, began to dissipate into the void. His empty eyes betrayed not even a farewell. The only thing Seongwu wanted to communicate to Daniel before his departure, was his desperate request to forget all about him.

An inordinate amount of time passed. Before Daniel realised he found himself absentmindedly swaying back and forth on the playground’s swing set, taken aback by the cold of the metal chains he grasped in his hands. The morning light blinded his eyes. He let go of the swing and shielded his eyes from the brightness. How long had he been here? No matter how he tried, he just couldn’t remember.

 _Was I waiting for someone? …who?_ For a moment, he had a vision of a smiling face; expression frank, but gentle. As he contemplated the unfamiliar figure, he felt a sharp pain in his heart. Blinking, Daniel felt tears stream down his cheeks. Somehow, he felt like he’d lost something very important. He got up from the swing, and looked over his surroundings. In the playground there was but the chill of a wind passing through, human presence nowhere to be found. He scratched his head.

 

‘Well, I guess I’ve been stood up once again.’

 

 


End file.
